Recently I saw a link on Facebook to a YouTube video by Taylor Mali titled “What Teachers Make” (link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5yg0u1MkDI). In this pointed video, Taylor makes us all proud of our contribution as teachers. In my early and challenging years as a new teacher many decades ago, it seemed that no matter how tough the school year had been, there was always one student who said something that made it all worthwhile.
My first year was a nightmare–not because of the students so much as my own lack of skill in managing them. I’m sure the majority of my hair loss occurred that year. And it didn’t get any better that day that Anna asked me at the end of class, “Can I ask you a question privately? Is it child abuse if your mom hits you with a coat hanger?”
My heart sank. I hadn’t been trained for this in my teacher methods courses! “Please don’t tell anyone,” she begged.
“Anna,” I’m required to report this, but even if I weren’t, I would want to do so to make sure you are okay. I also believe that your mom wants to know a better way to react when she’s angry. Even more importantly, children who grow up with child abuse often struggle with that when they have children of their own, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”
And so I got to fill out my first report to Children’s Protective Services. I never heard how it turned out, but I’m sure I lost some more hair because of it, but I survived that year.
* * * * *
Fifteen years later I was wrapping up during the last week of school. I was in my room with the door propped open toward the end of lunch when a woman stepped into my room. “You’re Mr. Fulton, aren’t you?” she asked. “I don’t know if you remember me or not, but I’m Anna, and I was your student a long time ago. I was called in today to be a substitute aide, and I heard some students mention your name. I wanted to come by and thank you for the help you gave me.”
I was so overjoyed to see her. “How are you and your mom doing?” I asked.
“We’re best friends!” she said, “and I even have a daughter of my own now.”
“I have to ask you, Anna,” I said tentatively. “We spoke back then of how children who grow up with abuse often struggle with that themselves. I have to ask how you are doing.”
“I’m doing wonderfully, Mr. Fulton,” she said. “I wanted you to know you made a difference.”
As Mali says in his inspiring video, we don’t make what we deserve, but we make a difference. It seems that every year I receive at least one such story that fuels me to come back another year. I’m sure you have stories like this too. I’d love to hear them, so please leave a comment, and I’ll share them in future posts. Until then, happy teaching, and have a great summer.
My heart sank. I hadn’t been trained for this in my teacher methods courses! “Please don’t tell anyone,” she begged.
“Anna,” I’m required to report this, but even if I weren’t, I would want to do so to make sure you are okay. I also believe that your mom wants to know a better way to react when she’s angry. Even more importantly, children who grow up with child abuse often struggle with that when they have children of their own, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”
And so I got to fill out my first report to Children’s Protective Services. I never heard how it turned out, but I’m sure I lost some more hair because of it, but I survived that year.
* * * * *
Fifteen years later I was wrapping up during the last week of school. I was in my room with the door propped open toward the end of lunch when a woman stepped into my room. “You’re Mr. Fulton, aren’t you?” she asked. “I don’t know if you remember me or not, but I’m Anna, and I was your student a long time ago. I was called in today to be a substitute aide, and I heard some students mention your name. I wanted to come by and thank you for the help you gave me.”
I was so overjoyed to see her. “How are you and your mom doing?” I asked.
“We’re best friends!” she said, “and I even have a daughter of my own now.”
“I have to ask you, Anna,” I said tentatively. “We spoke back then of how children who grow up with abuse often struggle with that themselves. I have to ask how you are doing.”
“I’m doing wonderfully, Mr. Fulton,” she said. “I wanted you to know you made a difference.”
As Mali says in his inspiring video, we don’t make what we deserve, but we make a difference. It seems that every year I receive at least one such story that fuels me to come back another year. I’m sure you have stories like this too. I’d love to hear them, so please leave a comment, and I’ll share them in future posts. Until then, happy teaching, and have a great summer.
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